WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, GINKO.
FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 065.32.134.46
***
GINKO has joined 065.32.134.46
<GINKO> okay, i think that worked?
<GINKO> i think so. looks like it did.
<GINKO> anyway, there we go. let me know if you need something.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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She turns back towards him once she has them situated and studies him a little. ]
Have you been well?
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He gives a lopsided shrug, looking at the ground and surrounding trees more than at her.]
Yeah, I've been alright. You?
[He's trying to avoid the obvious subject, internally debating when would be a good time to bring that up.]
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She tilts her head and returns the shrug. ]
I've been the same.
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[He frowns down at the ground, ears flicking thoughtfully. Might as well say it.]
I... need to talk to you about something.
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Alright.What is it we need to talk about?
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So he just says as much as he can at once, before he can back down, and it's mostly experience that keeps his voice level as he speaks.]
The other day, I was talking to a boy named Steven who said he had spoken to you recently. He told me that you said you knew me before... before I was Ginko, and that it was a mushi called ginko that took my eye and changed my hair. I don't remember any of that - though he didn't seem to realize that I didn't.
[He hesitates, his voice almost apologetic - he's got no idea whether Nui knows about the Tokoyami, though it feels likely, if she knows how he lost his eye.]
If that's true, I... [He actually does trail off this time, unsure of what else he can even say here. It's been so long since he's even considered the possibility of something like this happening, he doesn't even know what he wants to ask.]
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But she hadn't known how, or if she should have, so she had simply let it be. Let Ginko continue on with his life. She had no reason to interfere, no right to reconnect with him. He didn't remember her anyway, and it was probably better that way. Easier. (She tells herself this, but she knows it's a lie. She's just hiding, like a coward, from what's important.)
Her tail droops as she looks away from Ginko and towards the forest. ]
Yes, what he said is true. I knew you when you were still a child.
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After a few moments of struggling to figure out what to say, he just goes the simple route. He doesn't quite know what, in particular he's asking, since he doesn't know where to start.] What happened?
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I found you injured and took you in for a time. Your name was Yoki, then.
[ She pauses a moment, to let that sink in, and then realizes that this conversation will probably take a while. She finally looks back to him and motions for him to follow as she finds a place to sit in the shade. ]
Come, sit.
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He doesn't say anything else. He doesn't quite know himself whether he's waiting for more or just trying to process what he's already heard - which, in theory, shouldn't be too hard. But he's having some trouble thinking of it applying to him.]
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...
It's my fault, what happened. The mountain where I lived--there was a pond where Tokoyami lived. [ She pauses. ] By then, I had lived there a long time, I knew the risks. I should have sent you away as soon as your foot was well enough, but it was...difficult.
In the end, I tried. But you came back as I...
[ She stops, is quiet again, trying to figure out how to explain without exposing herself too much. ]
As the Ginko appeared.
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So that was it.
[There's a lot more he wants to know, but this answers some of it. It explains the Tokoyami exposure that wiped away his memories, and that other mushi - it feels odd to think of it by the name that he's come to think of as his own, even if it's not hard to guess where he got that name now - that changed his appearance.]
...I hope you're not expecting me to blame you for this.
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The surprise is quickly replaced by her usual neutral, but her head tilts just a little as she studies him, curious. ]
You don't?
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[He leans back a little, glancing up at the treetops above them. It all feels so surreal; it's almost as if she's got to be talking about someone else here.
In a way, he supposes she is.]
I mean, I guess I could try. But... it wouldn't feel right. After all, you did try to keep it from happening.
[He gives a quiet huff.]
Guess I was a stupid kid even then.
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She shakes her head. ]
You weren't stupid. [ She smiles, just a little, almost wistfully. ] You were just stubborn, you wanted to stay with me.
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After another moment, another question occurs to him.]
Did I attract a lot of mushi then?
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She hums thoughtfully. ]
I would think so, yes, but I can't say anything with certainty. I, too, attract mushi, so having them drawn to me wasn't unusual.
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He nods, his tail flicking as he thinks over what she says.]
Then it really doesn't have anything to do with the tokoyami... or the ginko, I suppose. Someone told me as much once, but it's different, getting more actual confirmation.
...Actually, at the time I hadn't been quite sure what to think. I had assumed the tokoyami had something to do with it, but... [He shrugs. That moment of hope for some kind of solution had been long ago, but he still remembers it. Now, the idea that removing the tokoyami in his eye could have helped anything really does seem impossible.]